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The Adventures of Gato Mighty

Thoughts, Stories and Feels

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I have a vivid imagination and it goes wild when i read scripture. There’s no telling where the word is going to send my mind and no telling what layer or angle will stand out each day.

So, I’m reading in Psalms

See how numerous are my enemies and how fiercely they hate me! Guard my life and rescue me; do not let me be put to shame, for I take refuge in you. May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope, Lord , is in you.

Psalm 25:19‭-‬21

It reminded me of the gang members and drug dealers I’ve met that were desperately trying to leave that lifestyle behind and break the cycle.  Knowing that they were heading to prison or the grave wanting to change if for anything, to be there to raise their kids and be the father they didn’t have.

It reminds how the bible speaks to every bit of the human condition. Poverty, suffering, oppression, wealth, privilege, racism you name it.

Thanks for reading

A Multitude of Sins

During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him

Hebrews 5:7‭-‬9 

Father in Heaven,

  1. Thank you for leading me to this road. I dont at all regret my decision to follow you, but God I confuse myself by the way I run right back to the things you set me free from. Father you have placed people in my life because its not for man to be alone, and I know there are things we are supposed to learn from and teach one another. Father in heaven, the sin that so easily entangles causes my spiritual family including myself to isolate and in a way..clock out from Christianity. Its hard for me to give a harsh rebuke, but is that even what you’ve put me here to do? The double edged sword cuts me deep because people are confessing to me sins that I’m guilty of. I become concerned but I’m just as sinful. I know we are to judge our spiritual family, and hold them accountable, but perhaps God, you are grooming me to be an instrument of your unconditional love. God nobody disciplines like you do…your discipline is perfect. I think about being punished by my father when i was growing up and how my mother always supported, never undermined his decision. She maintained the standard, but always knew how to show me that everything would be okay and how loved I was. I know that i dont need to ignore any elephant in the room or any difficult conversations but when i look at my life, even before i knew You, your love protected me, your love taught me, your love gave me time to build an understanding. Your love is what brought me here. I dont think i can give out what i never received, and God you never handed me tough love. I know that my heart is deceptive, and i also recognize that i confuse the heart with the spirit a lot, but God if my way of thinking and feeling is off i know you will open my eyes and show me.

Thank you and please continue teaching me and my spiritual family. Please lead my one another relationships and my discipling relationships

In Jesus’s name,

Amen

Hopeful 

April 14th will be year 3 as a Christian for me. I’m continuing to learn more and more about myself and though seeing more of who I really am is scary, I’m very encouraged that God reveals things in digestible amounts. A lot of times there have been some big pills to swallow, but Amen for the truth that sets us free. This morning I’m doing a bible study focused on my purity and Day 6 is titled “Hope”. It asks the question: 

“Do you believe that God can deliver you?”

I can sometimes be overly and deceptively optimistic on how things actually are and I’m learning to be honest with myself first then let it trickle down to the rest of my life. Now, God knows the answer already and it’s impossible for us to lie to God, we only lie to ourselves. I broke through a barrier this morning, and God answered a prayer of mine in the perfect way only He can. I pray for my faith to increase often so I will see and feel more of His presence in my life. My faith needing to increase is at least aknolowging that there is some faith there. So, how much more do I need? Well, it seems like just like love, faith is such a powerful  and spiritual thing that it cannot be measured. I could never give you 2 pounds of love..there is only love, there is only faith. Interesting enough, even though it can’t be measured we can recognize almost instantly when there is a lack of it. For my faith to increase I first had to take inventory. The question from my Bible study allowed that to happen, and the answer let’s me know where I am on the issue. 

The truth is..currently, I don’t believe that I can be delivered from this particular sin..my thorn. That is perfectly okay because it’s the truth on how I feel and its temporary. I’m okay with temporary. I’ve experienced many things…small and large, all miraculous things that have increased my faith. I’m greatful for God continuing to reach out and pursue a deeper relationship with me..its humbling because well…God is great and I am not, and because of Him I know that I’m special and wanted. The enemy wants me to feel alone, not special, not wanted..which is how I spent a lot of my childhood feeling. Partly because of some things happening in my enviorment/home life and the other part due to a developing sinful nature that the devil used to fuel my rebellion against God. 

So now that I have taken inventory and see the lack, I pray that God allows me to complete this race in a way that allows me to put Him on display and not myself. I don’t think highly of myself spiritually which is probably a good thing. It might keep me from being so judgemental on how others are doing. Sometimes when people share their struggles I have a minute or two of self righteousness as if I’m doing better because the struggle isn’t the same. Then I remember the struggle is the same. It’s fighting to be like Jesus in all Situations, it’s self denial/dying to self, it’s serving. Self righteousness and judgement divide us, but helping eachother carry burdens and the blood of Christ unites me with my brothers and sisters.

Remember Jesus Christ, raised from the dead, descended from David. This is my gospel, for which I am suffering even to the point of being chained like a criminal. But God’s word is not chained. Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they too may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory.  Here is a trustworthy saying: If we died with him, we will also live with him;  if we endure, we will also reign with him. If we disown him, he will also disown us;  if we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot disown himself.

2 Timothy 2:8‭-‬13 NIV

Thank you for reading 

Sincerely,

Gato Mighty 

Fast

I’m so greatful that God doesn’t require perfection…I would be doomed. Pride is such a dangerous thing and I fall victim to it often. Whether I fall when no one is looking or in front of people I always fall. Always lying to myself, deceiving myself by thinking I know what’s best for me. Lord, I’m trying to enjoy the seasons but I hate change and want to be in control. Interesting the path I chose because I admitted I didn’t know what was best and surrendered control. My actions sometimes say that I want to go back on the decision and I wonder how it was for first century Christians. Has the human heart and condition changed at all? Leading by example scares me, but I just want to make it to heaven with the people that I love here on earth. I want to meet and love more people and bring them with me. I want to give, serve, and encourage but I’m a wretch. The enemy makes me feel like I’m unlovable and that God’s promises are too good to be true. Lord please help me to know better and do better.

I started a fast from Facebook this week, the plan is to go to God more instead of social media. Seeking validation in likes when I should be seeking the kingdom.  Connecting with people in real life offline….

Thanks for reading,

Sincerely,

Gato Mighty

Rise And Shine 

Screenshot_20170325-081655Quiet time this morning, listening to Big Krit – Rise and Shine and herd some connections in the first verse. I’ve been really examining what I listen to lately. Before I was a Christian music and HipHop was my religion. I honestly believe God was reaching out to me through the culture so I’ve been incorporating the music into my Bible study…
The first verse goes
Early morning, kinda sleepy, still yawning

Log on and, dial toning

Forever phoning, for a blessing

Will you help me get my ass up out the bed and go

God love me cause he said it so

Don’t look away cause I beg for more

Than I ever ever had

Praying for the future but I’m dealing with the past

Mama say I’m worried cause I’m too much like my dad

Some things are forever, nothing ever last

Like the rising of the sun or when big mama passed

Time travel fast, search and you shall find

Awake from yo slumber, open up yo blinds
Sounds like in the verse he (Krit) mentions “Forever phoning for a blessing” or always praying for a blessing or praying for change.
I’m one needy human being:

I need wisdom

I need guidance

I need insight

I need more faith
I could go on, and sometimes I attribute what I’ve experienced from other people to what will happen with God.
“Don’t look away because I beg for more than I’ve ever had”
The times I’ve overwhelmed a friend with what I needed to the point where they had to step away or vice-versa when I stepped away.
“Praying for the future but I’m dealing with the past, Mama say I’m worried cause I’m too much like my Dad”
The past has a negative influence on today’s faith and looking at what’s in front of me and what I know has me worried and feeling hopeless. As If what I see is all seeing and what I know is all knowing.
All ways that I felt before some guys opened up the word and showed me some scripture.
All in all…the first verse of this Krit song reminds me of
Jeremiah 29: 11-14
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord , “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord , “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord , “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

Jeremiah 29:11‭-‬14
Thanks for reading

The End 

Saying things I thought I’d never say. 

Doing things that I would never do.

Feeling a way I’ve never felt, all in response to what I know is true.

Can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. 

That doesn’t mean it’s not around the bend.

God is waiting to see what he gonedo. 

So that I’ll be with him in the end

The Revelation Continues

I’m what many people might consider giving. I appreciate all of the encouragement, the words of affirmation handed to me because I don’t necessarily think highly of myself. I appreciate people lifting me up but hopefully not in a prideful, sinful way that doesn’t glorify God. God revealing to me more and more exactly how broken I am and the extent of my loneliness exposes another layer of deceit to my sinful nature. There are times when I’m lonely that I do things not because God has placed it on my heart to do, but because in my lonely and anxious state I felt the need to bribe someone for their time in the form of a good deed. 

“If I cook for them randomly maybe they will start calling me and wanting to hang out more, and I will spend less time alone”

At my church and with my friends in general I have done this many times, unconsciously, and sometimes consciously . My homie Jeff used the term “Social Capital” to describe a suggestion he made to a group of new people he’s been getting to know. The suggestion didn’t go over well because he didn’t have enough “Social Capital”. It reminded me of myself and the ways that I attempt to increase my Social Capital. It’s a subtle form of manipulation and knowing how it feels very well to be manipulated by people..its something that I want to leave behind in my old life. When you accept the gift, the plate of food, little do you know, you are signing a contract that says you have to make time for me when I want you to, or you have to return the favor when I call on you for one. Of course this isn’t ever verbalized, but on my end a selfish expectation is formed and I am hurt when the expectation is not met.

“How dare you not hold to an agreement that only I knew about”

Realizing this has had in me in deep thought and I haven’t done intense self examining like this since I decided to become a Christian. BTW it will be 3 years April 14, 2017. A scripture that I dwell on occasionally is 

Psalm 139: 23-24

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

I’ve always looked at it in a way that speaks to me offending people, but as usual, here comes God shaking his finger at what I think like Dikembe Mutombo- “No No No”

The scripture is calling for God to reveal the sin that I can’t see..the sin that exist in my thoughts and feelings. The sin that I am great at hiding from people, but of course it is all laid bare before of God.
Lord, this is difficult, hands down the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but there’s no turning back.

These things weighing on my mind has been obvious to my homie/roommate but I haven’t been ready to talk about these things. It’s good for me to talk about it with people, but I like being able to speak coherently without emotions or any other interruptions, and that’s where my journal and this blog come into play. I don’t really broadcast this site. I will occasionally share a post with my close friends.It’s my therapy and I pray that people around the world seeking God stumble on this page through keywords on Google.

Thank you for taking time to read

Sincerely,

Gato Mighty 

A Rollercoaster Of Sorts

The past couple of weeks have been an emotional roller-coaster for me. God has been revealing a lot to me about myself and it has been difficult dealing with it. The truth has been hurting but I’m thankful because it’s been pointing me towards healing. A lot of my feelings have caused me to feel guilty. Feelings of loneliness have made me feel like I’m ungrateful for all God has done for me and blessed me with. Longing to be sought after in friendships, to be needed and to be helpful and the ways I attempt to fill the void have all been distractors from me dealing with the unpleasant root of those feelings. Even worse when I run to sin for comfort in the form of food and sexual immorality. Through prayer, literature, sermons on emotional health, advice from mature Christians and the Holy Spirit doing what it does best (reveal) I see that so much of my life has been a response to loneliness. I see now that God is not going to make it easy for me now that I know the truth. He is going to discipline his child because I am, and want to always be a legitimate child of God. The past couple of weeks when the lonely feelings come, he has been closing doors to the people I run to. He has put me in some lonely spots recently so that I can spend time with Him, so that He can teach me. If you don’t struggle with loneliness, the best way I can think of to describe it is feeling like you are alone because you are unwanted, unloved, not loveable. Wondering if I annoy people secretly, and constantly thinking of the things I need to change about myself that will make people want me around. Wondering if I come on too strong, wondering if I seem desperate. These feelings aren’t really rational either. When I’m in my right mind I know people love me and that I’m wanted around. It’s a separation anxiety. I can tell you when it started. When my parents divorced I became a latch key child that let himself in the house after school and spend a lot of time alone. I was raised by my Father and by the time I got to highschool we were more like room mates than father and son. Our rooms were on opposite sides of the house. We didn’t talk much and didn’t eat meals together. God allowed some talents to develop from my loneliness..mainly my creativity which included music, writing, and comedy. Satan was right there for sin to develop also in the form of emotional eating, and sexual immorality. It’s very encouraging to know that God has feelings, and we inherited those same feelings since we were created in his image. Even Jesus, when he was here on earth lived a life that makes me wonder if His emotional health and low self esteem was something that kept Him in prayer.

Isaiah 53:1‭-‬3 NIV

Who has believed our message and to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?  He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground. He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.  He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.


The Scriptures help me gain so much insight on my life as a Christian. I don’t have to feel guilty. I do need to recognize, confess the feelings and talk to God, go to God, RUN TO GOD about my feelings though. Satan sees these feeling and uses them to manipulate my mind and actions…like I’m a puppet. When I’m aware of and can define the feelings I have , i have the opportunity to hand the feelings over to God, who can make them work for my good and cut the strings the enemy uses to control me

 Romans 8:28‭-‬30 NIV

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

God is an emotional God, but He is the master. He has all feelings and is able to remain merciful, righteous, just and forgiving; longing for a relationship with his children, longing to be united for all eternity with us. HE KNOWS HOW WE FEEL! HE KNOW HOW I FEEL! 

Hebrews 4: 14-16


Therefore since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Now if I can just remember these things

Sincerely, 
Gato Mighty 

Faithful 

Riding to work I felt like listening to some Common and decided on his album “Be”

Here is a verse from the song “Faithful”
I was rollin’ around, in my mind it occurred
What if God was a her?

Would I treat her the same? Would I still be runnin’ game on her?

In what type of ways would I want her?

Would I want her for her mind or her heavenly body?

Couldn’t be out gettin’ bogus with someone so godly

If I was wit’ her would I still be wantin’ my ex?

The lies, the greed, the weed, the sex

Wouldn’t be ashamed to give her part of my check

Wearin’ her cross, I mean the heart on my neck

Her, I would reflect on the streets of the Chi’

Ride wit’ her, cause I know for me she’d die

Through good and bad call on her like I’m chirpin’ her

Couldn’t be jealous cause other brothers worship her

Walk this earth for her, glory, I’m grateful

To be in her presence I try to stay faithful

This verse didn’t mean that much to me when it originally came out and of course it didn’t because I wasn’t faithful..wasn’t trying to be either.

It reminded me of …

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.Deuteronomy 6:5 

Love the Lord , all his faithful people! The Lord preserves those who are true to him, but the proud he pays back in full. Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord .Psalm 31:23‭-‬24

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